Subject: Time (Page 23)

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Sports Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Future Misspokements Past Speech

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Sex Time

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday; I’ll tell you what… never again.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Activities Time

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long.

Murphy’s Laws Time

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex Time

The larger the project or job, the less time there is to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

That’s history; I say history because it happened in the past.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
History Misspokements Time

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Past Time

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence Memory Past

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Communication Reading/Writing Time

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it… so I just added “ish” to every number.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Time

I don’t like to look back in retrospect.

professional football player
Misspokements Past Time

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
History Past Time

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Time

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time