Subject: Time (Page 23)

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Things Time

I have a time machine at home; it only goes forward at regular speed.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Things Time

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

The efficiency of a committee meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent on deliberations.

Murphy’s Laws Time

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
People Time

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Time

There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.

(1870 – 1924) Russian revolutionary, politician & political theorist
Time

The shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the moment one puts a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the arrival of that emergency.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Life Time

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Time

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Future Life Time

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence Memory Past

Anyone who believes you can't change history has never tried to write his memoirs.

(1886 – 1973) Israeli prime minister
Books Communication History Reading/Writing

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Future Yogi-isms

If a man smiles all the time he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Time Work

Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less, as I never think about them.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Characteristics Science/Weather Time

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Money Time

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Health Time

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time