Subject: Time (Page 27)

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

The last rush-hour express bus to your neighborhood leaves five minutes before you get off work.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Here are some names to look forward to – perhaps in the future.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Food/Drink Time

He who hesitates is a damn fool.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Time

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Places Time

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Time

There’s an old saying about those who forget history… I don’t remember it, but it’s good.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
History Time

We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Future Misspokements Past Speech

History doesn't repeat itself – historians merely repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

cartoon character, Peanuts (Charles Schulz, 1922 – 2000) creator & cartoonist
Life Time

The distance to the gate from which your flight departs is inversely proportional to the time remaining before the scheduled departure of the flight.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

These are the days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Time

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

freelance writer
Alcohol Time

First Things First, but not necessarily in that order.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The weekend represents the 48 hours that you have to f**k up the life you worked so hard for all week.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Time