Subject: Time (Page 27)

I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking; but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Communication Speech Time

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Life Time

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

I went to the 24-hour grocer; when I got there, the guy was locking the front and I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Time

You never have the right number of pills left on the last day of a prescription.

Health Murphy’s Laws Time

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Time Women

Only after locking your toolbox/shed at the end of a DIY job do you find another tool to return to your toolbox/shed.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

Do you know it was a year ago today?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Time

History doesn't repeat itself – historians merely repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The future will be better tomorrow.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Bushisms Future Time

Time wounds all heels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults Time TV/Movie Quotes

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
History Past Time

The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it.

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Time

A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours, however short the agenda.

Murphy’s Laws Time

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Situations Time

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Life Time

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Future Men Past People Time Women