Subject: Time (Page 28)

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

Time is nature’s way of not letting everything happen at once.

Time

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Future Learning

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Past Science/Weather Time

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Sports Time

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Husbands Marriage Time

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Death People Time

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Time Work

I grew up in Europe… where the history comes from.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
History Places Time

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
People Time

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Age Time

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
History Relationships Time

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we’re going forward to tomorrow or whether we’re going to go past to the – to the back.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Future Misspokements Past Time

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what man does with what happens to him.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
History Intelligence