Subject: Time (Page 28)

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian

The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Anyone who believes you can't change history has never tried to write his memoirs.

(1886 – 1973) Israeli prime minister

Styrofoam is biodegradable; you people are just impatient.

American comedian & writer

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.

(1897 – 1982) French writer

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Good punctuation means not to be late.

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The length of debate varies inversely with the complexity of the issue.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it… so I’m going to move to New York.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer