Subject: Time (Page 28)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years… before we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Time Wives

As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.

Books Murphy’s Laws Time

Absolutum obsoletum – if it works, it’s out of date.

(1926 – 2002) British management theorist & professor
Murphy’s Laws Time

He asked me if I knew what time it was… I said, “Yes, but not right now.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Situations Time

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Time

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

The late start is due to the time.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

(1893 – 1978) American author
Time

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Intelligence People Thinking Time

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Life Time

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Anything that can be changed will be changed up until there is no time left to change anything.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Simple jobs always get put off because there will be time to do them later.

Time Work

The larger the project or job, the less time there is to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Activities Time

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Men Past Women

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Time

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Situations Time