Subject: Time (Page 3)

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Time

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it… so I just added “ish” to every number.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Time

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History

It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Success Time

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

I’ve seen the future and it’s much like the present… only longer.

(1953 – 1998) baseball player
Future Misspokements Time

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men Relationships Time

 It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

History Memory Murphy’s Laws

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Animals Men People Situations Time

If, in the course of several months, if only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.

Time

Styrofoam is biodegradable; you people are just impatient.

American comedian & writer
Science/Weather Time

Urgency varies inversely with importance.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Time

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Health Time

I love deadlines; I especially like the whooshing sound they make when they go flying by.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Time

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Family Past Relationships Situations Things Time

I grew up in Europe… where the history comes from.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
History Places Time

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
History Time

Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never resolved.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Men Past People Women

When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time