Subject: Time (Page 4)

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Situations Time

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Past Time

If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

Spend sufficient time in confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

The larger the project or job, the less time there is to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Future Time

The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Situations Time

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

My wife and I were happy for twenty years… before we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Time Wives

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. (also attributed to Wheeler)

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Time

No man goes before his time… unless the boss leaves early.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals People Time Work

Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Ain’t nobody out at that time a night but burglars and bad women.

Expressions Time

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Things Time