Subject: Time (Page 5)

I used to do drugs; I still do, but I used to, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Past

Why should I do anything for posterity? … what has posterity ever done for me?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Future People Time

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
History Time

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Food/Drink Time

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Computers Future Science/Weather Things Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

The efficiency of a committee meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent on deliberations.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Time

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young

It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

These are the days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Time

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Past Time

New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions; next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Situations Time

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

Time wounds all heels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults Time TV/Movie Quotes

Bus schedules are arranged so your bus will arrive at the transfer point precisely one minute after the connecting bus has left.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

What time is it?… you mean now?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Time Yogi-isms

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player
Baseball Science/Weather Sports Time

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday; I’ll tell you what… never again.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Activities Time