Subject: Time (Page 6)

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities Past People Time

My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it… so I’m going to move to New York.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.

Misspokements Time

My wife and I were happy for twenty years… before we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Time Wives

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Time

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Past Time

Historical fancy is more persistent than historical fact.

History Murphy’s Laws

A committee takes hours to put into minutes what can be done in seconds.

People Time

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.

(1937 – 2000) science fiction author
Future Money Past Time

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Time

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Proverbs Time

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Situations Time

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Future Life Time

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

What year did Jesus think it was?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
History Time

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time