Subject: Time (Page 6)

That’s history; I say history because it happened in the past.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
History Misspokements Time

Children should neither be seen nor heard from… ever again.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Time

Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

(1940 – ) computer scientist
Future Ideas Intelligence Time

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Self Time

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

You always think another time would have been ideal for you; the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
History Past Time

A day without sunshine is like… well, night.

Situations Time

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals People Time

Absolutum obsoletum – If it works, it’s out of date.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them; there's no future in it.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Future Misspokements Past Time

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

(1952 – ) comedian
History Men People Time

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Eating Food/Drink Time

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
History Time

People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time.’ … you know what… so is everybody, that’s how time works.


Time

Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right.

(1905 – 1988) Austrian-born American conductor
Money Situations Time