Subject: Time (Page 6)

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
History Time

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Future Life Time

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Divorce Marriage Time Wives

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce – instantly.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Past Things Time

Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.

Life Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

The faster he goes, the quicker he’ll get to the pits; the slower he goes, the longer it will take.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Places Time World

Yoga is basically spending an entire hour trying to not fart.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Time

Remember, today could just as easily be the LAST day of the rest of your life.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Death Time

We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Education Learning Problems Time

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Time

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Future Men Past People Time Women

In the words of the old song, it’s a long time from May to December but, you know, it’s an equally long time from December to May.

professional football player, coach & executive
Misspokements Time

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

Quality is inversely proportional to the time left for completion of the project.

Time

There aren't enough days in the weekend.


Time

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Time

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time

I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them; there's no future in it.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Future Misspokements Past Time

He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
History People Situations