Subject: Time (Page 7)

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Success Time

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Time is a waste of money.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money Time

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Proverbs Time

History is a pack of lies we play on the dead.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
History Lies Time

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

Never make predictions… especially about the future.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Future Misspokements Time

Up at the crank of dawn.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Time

Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Future Yogi-isms

I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said “Sorry, we’re closed” … you don’t have to be sorry – it’s 3 a.m., and you’re a dry cleaner.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Time

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Men Past Women

The larger the project or job, the less time there is to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics Intelligence Time

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work