Subject: Time (Page 8)

Seems like only a year ago they were married nine years!

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Marriage Time

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Life Time

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

We’ve been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Insults Life Past

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don’t want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Conflict Entertainment Film Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Time

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Husbands Marriage Time

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators… I left early.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Sex Time

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Proverbs Situations Time

I don’t like to look back in retrospect.

professional football player
Misspokements Past Time

Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Instant gratification takes too long.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Time

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
Places Time

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Time

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Time