Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 12)

“The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show,” said Tom deludedly.

Tom Swifties

“I am not full of hot air,” Tom belched.

Tom Swifties

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

“3.14159265,” Tom said piously.

Tom Swifties

“This boat leaks,” said Tom balefully.

Tom Swifties

“It’s just gold leaf”, said Tom guiltily.

Tom Swifties

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Tom Swifties

“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.

Tom Swifties

“Do you think I’m a dull person?” Tom asked bluntly.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t like going to museums,” he said artlessly.

Tom Swifties

“I won’t finish in fifth place,” Tom held forth.

Tom Swifties

“If I die, you get everything,” said Tom willingly.

Tom Swifties

“Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers,” said Tom soothingly.

Tom Swifties

“Hey, you’re on my foot!” said Tom standoffishly.

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“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” said Mary guilelessly.

Tom Swifties

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

“All right – we’ll use a water solution”, Tom acquiesced.

Tom Swifties

“Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?” she asked hotly.

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“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties

“Your trousers have come apart!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

Tom Swifties