Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 12)

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

“Don’t call me a oddball,” Tom replied evenly.

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“I’ve been to a film festival in Southern France,” said Tom cannily.

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“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

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“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

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“Those hookers are putting notices in the personals”, Tom advised.

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“I find you guilty,” said the judge with conviction.

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“The situation is grave,” Tom said cryptically.

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“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

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“Let’s spice it up,” said Tom gingerly.

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“This way to the seabird exhibit”, said Tom awkwardly.

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“Why is this telephone flex always tangled?” asked Tom coyly.

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“I hear a brook,” Tom babbled.

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“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.

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“I’ll show you my illustrated Irish new testament,” said Tom bibliographically.

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“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

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“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.

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“Orgasms are overrated”, said Tom anticlimactically.

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“I punched him in the stomach three times,” said Tom triumphantly.

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“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

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“My fellow Americans,” boomed Ronald Reagan, “I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever…”

Tom Swifties