Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 16)

“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

“I like modern painting,” said Tom abstractly.

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

“I’m putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses,” Tom summarized.

“I swallowed some of the glass from that broken window,” Tom said painfully.

“You resemble a goat,” said Tom satirically.

“If I die, you get everything,” said Tom willingly.

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

“That’s nothing!” said Tom naughtily.

“Take tea and see,” said Tom briskly.

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

“I just got a job putting up steel girders!” Tom beamed.

“Oops, I’ve ripped my pants!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.

“I write elevator music,” Tom noted.

“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.

“I was removed from office,” said Tom disappointedly.

“Would you stop horsing around!” yelled Tom woefully.

 “I’m just going to put these handcuffs on you,” said Tom manically.

“My ancestor was a famous Confederate general who had an army fort named after him,” Tom bragged.