Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 20)

“I’ve been having an incontinence problem,” Tom gushed.

Tom Swifties

“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.

Tom Swifties

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

“Getting rid of acid is easy,” said Tom basically.

Tom Swifties

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

“Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles,” said Tom divertingly.

Tom Swifties

“Get out of here!” said Tom believingly.

Tom Swifties

“Let’s eat kosher tonight,” said Tom judiciously.

Tom Swifties

“Boy, will I give you a haircut!” said Tom barbarously.

Tom Swifties

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

Tom Swifties

“Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers,” said Tom soothingly.

Tom Swifties

“It has zero height, zero width, and just a little depth,” said Tom, stretching the point.

Tom Swifties

“So this is your new computer!” said Tom calculatingly.

Tom Swifties

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Tom Swifties

“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.

Tom Swifties

“We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights”, said the NASA engineer apologetically.

Tom Swifties

“The average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz,” said Tom in measured tones.

Tom Swifties

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

“A dog bit me,” said Tom rabidly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.

Tom Swifties

“Please get into the elevator”, said Tom uppishly.

Tom Swifties