Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Tom Swifties
(Page 23)
“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’ve only enough carpet for the hall and landing,” said Tom with a blank stare.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Consult an investment broker,” was Tom’s stock answer.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“That certainly took the wind out of my sails!” said Tom disgustedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“All right – we’ll use a water solution”, Tom acquiesced.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“We’ll need a higher price at auction,” Tom said morbidly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’ve struck oil!” said Tom crudely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?” she asked hotly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Please get into the elevator”, said Tom uppishly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 23 of 27
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