Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 23)

“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.

“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.

“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

“I’ve only enough carpet for the hall and landing,” said Tom with a blank stare.

“Consult an investment broker,” was Tom’s stock answer.

“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.

“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.

“That certainly took the wind out of my sails!” said Tom disgustedly.

I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

“Where’s my pants?” asked Tom briefly.

“All right – we’ll use a water solution”, Tom acquiesced.

“We’ll need a higher price at auction,” Tom said morbidly.

“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

“I’ve struck oil!” said Tom crudely.

“Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?” she asked hotly.

“Please get into the elevator”, said Tom uppishly.