Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Tom Swifties
(Page 23)
“I’ve been having an incontinence problem,” Tom gushed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“The executioner has received the tool he needs”, said Tom with a heavy accent.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“This steamroller is amazing,” said Tom flatteringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Those cobs are amazing!” said Tom cornily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’ve gained thirty pounds,” said Tom heavily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Don’t let me drown in Egypt!” pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I chop down trees for a living,” said Tom lumberingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“That’s especially stupid!” said Tom superciliously.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Get out of my hair,” was Tom’s brush-off.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I'll have a martini,” said Tom, dryly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Pass the playing cards,” said Tom ideally.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I only use one herb when I cook,” said Tom sagely.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“England is okay, except there seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse”, said Tom aloofly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 23 of 27
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