Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 23)

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.

“Boy, will I give you a haircut!” said Tom barbarously.

“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.

“Would you like to buy some cod?” asked Tom selfishly.

“This food tastes of plutonium,” said Tom glowingly.

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

“I can lend you the money,” Tom said with interest.

“I was removed from office,” said Tom disappointedly.

“We’re off to Scotland,” said Tom clandestinely.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

“So this is your new computer!” said Tom calculatingly.

“The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show,” said Tom deludedly.

“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.

“We need more people like Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald,” said Tom moronically.

“I hate math,” Tom added.

“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.