Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Tom Swifties
(Page 25)
“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m just an average guy,” said Tom meanly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“The cat sounds as if she’s happy now she’s been fed,” said Tom purposefully.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’ve stuck a pin through my nose,” said Tom punctually.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m a broken man,” Tom cracked.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“The doctor had to remove my left ventricle,” said Tom half-heartedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I find you guilty,” said the judge with conviction.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m taking this ship back into harbor,” Tom reported.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Employees are not permitted to have sex on company furniture,” Tom shouted, banging on the table.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I see,” said Tom icily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 25 of 27
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