Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 25)

“I’m not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting,” said Michelangelo insistently.

“My garden needs another layer of mulch,” Tom repeated.

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

“I don’t know any shanties,” said Tom unceasingly.

“Those bullets can’t hurt me,” said Tom blankly.

“I’m going to lie in the sun,” said Tom in Basque.

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

“Let’s sort this out,” Tom ordered.

“My compliments to the company that makes the Macintosh computer”, said Tom applaudingly.

“Now I can do some painting,” said Tom easily.

“I have no underwear,” Tom said expansively.

“Get out of my hair,” was Tom’s brush-off.

“I’m not myself, today,” said Tom, being frank.

“Would you like to buy some cod?” asked Tom selfishly.

“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.

“I can’t be bothered,” said Tom carelessly.

“Can I go looking for the Grail again?” Tom requested.

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

“I chop down trees for a living,” said Tom lumberingly.

“I got demoted,” Tom admitted privately.

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.