Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 25)

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.

“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.

“I’m just an average guy,” said Tom meanly.

“The cat sounds as if she’s happy now she’s been fed,” said Tom purposefully.

“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.

“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

“I’ve stuck a pin through my nose,” said Tom punctually.

“I’m a broken man,” Tom cracked.

“The doctor had to remove my left ventricle,” said Tom half-heartedly.

“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.

“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.

“I find you guilty,” said the judge with conviction.

“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

“I’m taking this ship back into harbor,” Tom reported.

“Employees are not permitted to have sex on company furniture,” Tom shouted, banging on the table.

“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.

“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.

“I see,” said Tom icily.