Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 26)

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m of greater value to you every day”, said Tom appreciatively.

Tom Swifties

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

Tom Swifties

“The optician probably doesn’t have my glasses ready yet,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

improvise

Tom Swifties

“It has zero height, zero width, and just a little depth,” said Tom, stretching the point.

Tom Swifties

“I have a delivery of shoes for the prisoners,” said Tom consolingly.

Tom Swifties

“I got in through the window after opening it with a crowbar,” said Tom enterprisingly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

“That painting makes me laugh”, Tom articulated.

Tom Swifties

“It’s my maid’s night off,” said Tom helplessly.

Tom Swifties

“This food tastes of plutonium,” said Tom glowingly.

Tom Swifties

“I will now demonstrate how to dissect a sheep,” delivered Tom.

Tom Swifties

“Boy, that’s an ugly hippopotamus!” said Tom hypocritically.

Tom Swifties

“2 bdrm furn w 5 appl”, said Tom aptly.

Tom Swifties

“I like fuzzy bunnies”, gurgled Tom acutely.

Tom Swifties

“This is where I keep my arrows,” said Tom quiveringly.

Tom Swifties

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

Tom Swifties

“All right, I will allow the prisoners to wear perfume,” the warden consented.

Tom Swifties