Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 3)

“Consult an investment broker,” was Tom’s stock answer.

Tom Swifties

“You don’t see the point, do you?” asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.

Tom Swifties

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

“One of the ten finalists in the ‘London derriere’ contest had to drop out”, said Tom asininely.

Tom Swifties

“Sorry, what I said was a no-brainer?” asked Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

“I love hot dogs,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting,” said Michelangelo insistently.

Tom Swifties

“I wouldn’t like anything but just that,” said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Tom Swifties

“The lion has its head caught in the skylight,” said Tom uproariously.

Tom Swifties

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Tom Swifties

“I wish I could remember the name of that card game,” said Tom wistfully.

Tom Swifties

“The optician probably doesn’t have my glasses ready yet,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

“My pants are too tight,” Tom burst out.

Tom Swifties

“The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show,” said Tom deludedly.

Tom Swifties

“I manufacture tabletops for shops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

“Let’s sort this out,” Tom ordered.

Tom Swifties

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Tom Swifties

“I can see because I have actual visual organs,” Tom realized.

Tom Swifties

“Hey, you’re on my foot!” said Tom standoffishly.

Tom Swifties