Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 6)

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

“I’m of greater value to you every day”, said Tom appreciatively.

“Another plate of seafood for me!” Tom clamored.

“She even flies her own jet,” Tom leered.

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

“Don’t let me drown in Egypt!” pleaded Tom, deep in denial.

“The exit is right there,” Tom pointed out.

“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.

“I didn’t look at all!” Tom peeped.

“Would you stop horsing around!” yelled Tom woefully.

“That’s the last time I’ll stick my arm in a lion’s mouth,” the lion-tamer said off-handedly.

“Your fly is undone,” was Tom’s zippy rejoinder.

“Orgasms are overrated”, said Tom anticlimactically.

“I suppose I’ll have to write my name again,” said Tom resignedly.

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.

“Angel dust? Me? Never touch it!” Tom snorted.

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

“I’m on social security,” said Tom dolefully.

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

“I see myself as an open-minded person,” Tom said upon reflection.