Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 12)

It was announced Thursday that the Army will allow recruits to sign up for just 15 months of active duty; if that doesn’t work, the military will try renaming Iraq ‘Super Cancun.’

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government Military TV/Movie Quotes

So take it from me, Thornton Melon, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

That letter’s too old! What I mean to say – it’s subspired.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve finally found someone I can love – a good, clean love… without utensils.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.

Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Can’t you be indelicate for once?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

You know, if I wanted somebody halfheartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I’d get married.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

He’s perfect for her – he has no apparent spine, and she can wrap him round her little finger.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

What’s all this fuss I’ve been hearing about the presidential erection?

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

In a pig’s dye.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s new Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Pete: Just don’t ask me to lend you any money.

Ben Stone: Can I just – have some?

(1982 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, producer, director & screenwriter
TV/Movie Quotes

There’s a strong criminal relement up there.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Now, if you’ll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of two things: balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination, and a killer’s instinct!

(1930 – ) American actor
Sports TV/Movie Quotes

You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
TV/Movie Quotes

That’s it! I can't take this anymore! … This is worse than Chinese Waiter Torture.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Cousin Vicki: I’m going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best at it.

(1968 – ) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Things TV/Movie Quotes

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes