Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 16)

You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I’d rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you.

Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

(1939 – 2010) American actress
Activities Shopping TV/Movie Quotes

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Won by your distinguished incrumbent.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes

Phillip: That’s the face I’ve been looking for.
Diane: Sorry, I’m still using it. I could let you visit it on weekends.

(1949 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I like Mexico; it’s so… Mexican.

(1908 – 1990) American actress
Places TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

You’re a hairess.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Arthur Harmon: [Looking at Maude’s black eye] If the Our Gang” comedies ever come back, you could be the dog.

Maude: And if Mister Ed ever comes back, there’d be a part for you. I’m not talking about the part that talks.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is ‘popular’.

(1985 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Luna Schlosser: What’s it feel like to be dead for 200 years?

Miles Monroe: Like spending a weekend in Beverly Hills.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

(1934 – ) English actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Room service? … send up a larger room.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Lilith: Well, I’m off. I don’t know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.

Carla: Like a body temperature?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Insurance is like marriage – you pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself. … In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal… and, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve gotta get inside this guy’s pelt and crawl around for a few days.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

Don’t torture yourself, Gomez… that’s my job.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes