Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 18)

Mary: Could the reason you can’t find a guy is because you’re letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?

Penny: Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

(1985 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The rest of the bricks and bracks on the mantle.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Al Qaeda on Friday released a statement confirming the death of Osama Bin Laden. They also announced that, as a result, Monday will be a half-day.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Arthur Harmon: No offense Maudie, but I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.

Maude: No offense Arthur, but that’s the only way you’d ever touch me.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: Sue Ann Nivens doesn’t give in without a fight!

Murray: That’s not what the cabdrivers tell me.

(1931 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating!

Uncle Fester: Sorry.

(1914 – 1984) American actor
Honesty TV/Movie Quotes

Morticia: It’s Gomez, I’m terribly worried about him. He won’t eat, he can’t sleep, he keeps coughing up blood…
Margaret: He coughs up blood?
Morticia: Well, not like he used to.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

(1939 – ) American actor & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

He tried to choke me! You saw it. He called me a baboon, thinks I’m his wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t want to have sex; you’re my wife, for God’s sake!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It’s more democratic.

(1955 – ) American actor, musician, producer & director
Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not the years, Honey, it’s the mileage.

(1942 – ) American film actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Besides me, who would point out that your teeth have turned the same color of yellow as your underwear and that you have more hair in your nose than on your head?

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
TV/Movie Quotes

According to team rules, the vote has to be unanimous. It can be unanimous or out loud.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems. 

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Me and your mother ain’t no Duke or Duke-ess.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

You’re a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing great with you!

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Age Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

You're trying to make me mad. Well, it didn't work on our wedding night and it won't work now.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
TV/Movie Quotes