TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 20)

State Trooper: Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It’s your choice. So what’s it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I’m thinking…

Bill Murray

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Phil Connors in “Groundhog Day”

Colonel Blake: Hawkeye Pierce? I got a twix about you… says you stole a jeep up at Headquarters.
Hawkeye Pierce: No sir, no, I didn’t steal it. No, it’s right outside.

Donald Sutherland

(1935 – ) Canadian actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Hawkeye Pierce in the film “M*A*S*H”

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

Tom Hollander

(1967 – ) English actor

Fights TV/Movie Quotes As Lord Cutler Beckett

Never give a sucker an even break.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As The Great Man in “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break”

That would be as hard as finding a piece of hay in an incredibly large stack of needles.

Rowan Atkinson

(1955 – ) English actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Blackadder in “Blackadder”

I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Things TV/Movie Quotes Balloons

Listen Edith, I know you’re singing, you know you’re singing, but the neighbors may think I’m torturing you.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Entertainment TV/Movie Quotes Singing Torture

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

Seth Meyers

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host

Arms TV/Movie Quotes

Or what, you port-brained twerp?! I’ve looked after you all my life! Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks!

Rowan Atkinson

(1955 – ) English actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Blackadder in “Blackadder”

If I had enough money to pay your back salary, I’d fire you.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As Sam Bisbee in “You’re Telling Me!” To his assistant

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

Luna: It’s hard to believe that you haven’t had sex for 200 years.
Miles: 204, if you count my marriage.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Miles Monroe in “Sleeper”

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”

It ain’t German to the conversation. It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Beliefs Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Faith Germaine

Penny: Howard, cow tipping – real or not?
Howard: I’m going to say not. That’s just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she’s snoring.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy night.

Bette Davis

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

TV/Movie Quotes As Margo Channing in “All About Eve”

I'm an experienced woman. I've been around… Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been… nearby.

Mary Tyler Moore

(1936 – 2017) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Mary in “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” Experience

Spanish PR’s from the Caraboon.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Carribean

Frasier: I’m having a young lady over on Friday night. I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you’d said Saturday.
Frasier: Why? You have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.

David Hyde Pierce

(1959 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Niles Crane in “Frasier”

There’s no crying in baseball!

Tom Hanks

(1956 – ) American movie actor

Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes As Jimmy Dugan in “A League of Their Own” Crying

In health news, scientists have announced the invention of a women’s condom; it works by fitting snugly over a woman’s wine glass.

Kevin Nealon

(1953 – ) American actor & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes Condoms

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 20)

State Trooper: Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It’s your choice. So what’s it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I’m thinking…

Colonel Blake: Hawkeye Pierce? I got a twix about you… says you stole a jeep up at Headquarters.
Hawkeye Pierce: No sir, no, I didn’t steal it. No, it’s right outside.

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

Never give a sucker an even break.

That would be as hard as finding a piece of hay in an incredibly large stack of needles.

I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.

Listen Edith, I know you’re singing, you know you’re singing, but the neighbors may think I’m torturing you.

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

Or what, you port-brained twerp?! I’ve looked after you all my life! Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks!

If I had enough money to pay your back salary, I’d fire you.

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

Luna: It’s hard to believe that you haven’t had sex for 200 years.
Miles: 204, if you count my marriage.

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

It ain’t German to the conversation. It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

Penny: Howard, cow tipping – real or not?
Howard: I’m going to say not. That’s just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she’s snoring.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy night.

I'm an experienced woman. I've been around… Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been… nearby.

Spanish PR’s from the Caraboon.

Frasier: I’m having a young lady over on Friday night. I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you’d said Saturday.
Frasier: Why? You have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.

There’s no crying in baseball!

In health news, scientists have announced the invention of a women’s condom; it works by fitting snugly over a woman’s wine glass.