Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 26)

Blackadder: You’re fired.
Baldrick: But I’ve been in your family since 1532!
Blackadder: So has syphilis, now get out.

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

There’s only two things I hate in this world; people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.

(1933 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Renaissance fairs aren’t about historical accuracy, they’re about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko’s and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say “Howdy”.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

A jester unemployed is nobody’s fool.

(1913 – 1987) American actor, singer, dancer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports’s is a-goin’ on here?! I hired you boys to lay a little track… not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

(1919 – 1983) American rodeo performer & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Sounds to me like you’ve hit the crackpot!

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

Grace Fielding: Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Bellows. I didn’t recognize you in this bad light.

S.B. Bellows: Ah, everybody seems to see me in a bad light.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Howard: She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a … well, her.
Leonard: And that didn’t bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant that she was gullible and open to a little probing.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Maude Findlay: Walter, if you don’t want my daughter and my only grandchild living here with us just tell me.
Walter Findlay: And…?
Maude: And I’ll rip your heart out.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

Feed a cold, starve for pizza. Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Well, well, well. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci’d and dragged in.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Hi ho Silverwear… Away!

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Now I don’t have to tell you good folks what’s been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast – I’m leaving.

(1916 –1976) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Why doncha get some chinkypuncture?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Wayne Carter: Spring is the time for love.

Flower Belle Lee: What’s the matter with the rest of the year?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Love TV/Movie Quotes

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
TV/Movie Quotes