Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 33)

If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden and Toby… I’d shoot Toby twice.

(1962 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, writer & director
TV/Movie Quotes

My knowledge of art is limited to Kirk Douglas as Vincent Van Gogh.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Sonja: Of course there’s a God! We’re made in His image!
Boris: You think I was made in God’s image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses?
Sonja: Not with those frames.

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: How about a beer, Norm?

Norm: Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

{Noticing Raj peeking through someone’s window using the telescope] Oh, Raj, no. Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women, so we don’t have to peep through windows.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

You’d think I was Lazarus rising from the bed.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing.

(1939 – 2000) American actor
Military TV/Movie Quotes

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

I wanna be just like you… all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.

(1959 – ) American actor, screenwriter & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Woman: The house… looks like it’s haunted.

Morticia: Thank you.

(1930 – 1983) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions TV/Movie Quotes

I’ll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I’ll even bring home a whole maggot.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Today is the first day of the end of your life.

(1946 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Alex Rieger: It’s so quiet up here you can hear yourself think.

Jim: I don’t hear anything.

(1938 – ) American actor
Intelligence Thinking TV/Movie Quotes

Howard: She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a … well, her.
Leonard: And that didn’t bother you?
Howard: Au contraire. It meant that she was gullible and open to a little probing.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Look at you, you’re white as a goat.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I less is more, then think how much more more is.

TV/Movie Quotes

The Bible, if ya read it you’d know; it’s right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

[To Lilith] I could look at you if I wanted to, but frankly, I’ve grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes