Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 34)

You’re a disgrace to depression.

(1937 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Time TV/Movie Quotes

With a little study you’ll go a long ways… and I wish you’d start now.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. [Dana starts passionately making out with him] Actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule…

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?

(1905 – 1993) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

(1954 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I can’t figure women out. They only think about themselves. Why, during sex, Vanessa – she used to scream out her own name!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

We’re not fighting, Carla. We’re merely discussing a little difference of opinion… I think Sam is a heartless mindless slack-jawed cretin and he disagrees.

(1949 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children TV/Movie Quotes

When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Madame Swempski: I don’t like this innuendo.

Groucho: That’s what I always say: love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

I thought that "Roman candles" just meant that they were imported. You know, from Romany.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

The Bible’s full of wine… God ain’t got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son’s birthday with.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Lilith: Frazer; how can you expect Frederick to develop the verbal skills he’ll need if you sit around with him in a bar all day?

[Norm enters and says:] “Evening everybody!

[baby] Frederick: Norm!

television character in “Cheers”
TV/Movie Quotes

So what’s this Vivian got that you don’t have? Three tits?

(1961 – ) American actress & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t have to take this abuse from you, I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Certainly I’m innocent, Edith… but of what?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes

You know, if I wanted somebody halfheartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I’d get married.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes