Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 37)

If there’s anything that upsets me, it’s having people say I’m sensitive.

(1924 – 2006) American comedic actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Bart, stop pestering Satan!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’d you like Normie?

Norm: A reason to live. Give me another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

The word is psalm – S-O-M.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

This place looks like the inside of a goat’s stomach.

Peter Falk (1927 – 2011) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I’ll have what she’s having.

(1914 – 2008) American actress & singer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

[on George Burns’s 100th birthday] I don’t know the secret to his longevity, but I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope Pauly Shore doesn’t know it either.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

You want me to strap her [dead Aunt Edna] to the hood? She’ll be fine. It’s not as if it’s going to rain or something.

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

The highest standard of living – the grossest national product.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Gracie : Breakfast will be ready in six minutes.
George Edwards: Six minutes?
Gracie: Yeah, I just put on two three minute eggs.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

If I had a dog with a face like yours, I’d shave its ass and teach it to walk backward.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

Edith, at my age I don’t need roughage – I need smoothage!

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Food/Drink Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Ordinary tradegies of war.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying… skim milk… which is water that’s lying about being milk.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
TV/Movie Quotes

Morticia: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Ellen: Boys?

Wednesday: Homicide.

(1980 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: Lilith is carrying a dead rat in her purse. Why would she be carrying a dead rat in her purse?

Carla: Just a wild guess: a snack?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes