Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 37)

Maude: When he says wife, he means possession.
Walter: So what, Maude? You told me a hundred times you want to be possessed.
Maude: Walter Findlay, I never said that standing up and you know it.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Ross: All right, I’ll tell you why you’re a bad driver. You’re fast and irresponsible.

Rachel: Well, excuse me, but in high school that made me head cheerleader.

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Raj: Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?

Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Lobster Greenberg

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Mother Superiority

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Joanna: What are you doing?

Chandler: I'm getting dressed.

Joanna: Why?

Chandler: Because when I go outside naked, people throw garbage at me.

(1969 – ) Canadian-American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Well, arrivedouche.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Don't point that beard at me, it might go off.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.

(1985 – ) American actress, singer & model
TV/Movie Quotes

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12… and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

(1968 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

I really must go. I’m hosting a seminar on multiple personality disorders and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

If we bury you ass up, I’ve got a place to park my bike.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Colonel Blake: Hawkeye Pierce? I got a twix about you… says you stole a jeep up at Headquarters.

Hawkeye Pierce: No sir, no, I didn’t steal it. No, it’s right outside.

(1935 – ) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Yeah, and I'm the simpleton? Tricking them was as easy as 1-2-C.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

I just kissed you, rubbed your chest, kissed you again in an impure manner – you never took your eyes off the TV! Ten years ago all I had to do was be awake… sometimes not even that!

(1958 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

(1959 – ) American actor
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas; how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Situations TV/Movie Quotes