Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 4)

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I ain't gonna eat this food with these Chink pick-up sticks.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

Ed: [to Mitch] That was flirting.
Mitch: No, that was… politeness. That was “have a pleasant and restful evening.”
Ed: No, that was “I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?”

(1949 – 2006) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I gave that man the drunkest years of my life.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

[to a waitress in a bar] Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out… and then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.

(1943 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

They said he had neurosis of the liver.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

John Winger: I’ve had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I’ve lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.

Ziskey: You still have your health.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Spanish PR’s from the Caraboon.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

The highest standard of living – the grossest national product.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

What’s all this talk I’ve been hearing about busting school children?

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Comedy is tragedy plus time!

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Entertainment TV/Movie Quotes

What you need is somebody new… there's more than one fish in the woodpile.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?

(1937 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something.

(1985 – ) American actress, singer & model
TV/Movie Quotes

The Bible, if ya read it you’d know; it’s right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes