TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 40)

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

Norm

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

John Cleese

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer

Insults TV/Movie Quotes As French soldier in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”

Sam: Coach, I’m gonna be blunt with you. Her friend’s cute and all that, but she doesn’t have what I’m lookin’ for in a woman.
Diane: What’s that? Break-away clothes?

Shelley Long

(1949 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Diane Chambers in “Cheers”

Howard Johnson: Y’know, Nietzsche says: “Out of chaos comes order.”
Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.

David Huddleston

(1930 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Olson Johnson in “Blazing Saddles”

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Marriage TV/Movie Quotes As Larsen E. Whipsnade in “You Can’t Cheat an Honest Man”

Ever since Renee, models from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs have only had one name!

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”

I thought that "Roman candles" just meant that they were imported. You know, from Romany.

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Roman candles

Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don’t think you mean “Topeka.”
Kelly: Oh yeah. Urethra! I have found it!

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Eureka

Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath, looks like you really got your hands full.
Catherine: Oh, it’s not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs.

Miriam Flynn

(1951 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Cousin Catherine in “National Lampoon’s Vacation”

When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman’s mouth?

Chris Parnell

(1967 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Dr. Leo Spaceman in “30 Rock”

God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Angelina Jolie

(1975 – ) American actress, film director, screenwriter & author

Men TV/Movie Quotes As Kate Libby in “Hackers”

I used to be Snow White… but I drifted.

Mae West

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

TV/Movie Quotes As Tira in “I’m No Angel”

You know, sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

(1961 – ) American actress, comedian & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Elaine Benes in “Seinfeld”

I’m suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Inhalation

Bart: Mornin’, ma’am. And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
Elderly woman: Up yours, nigger.

Jessamine Milner

(1894 – 1983) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Elderly woman in “Blazing Saddles”

I’m the lady who works at Paramount all day… and Fox all night.

Mae West

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay As Marlo Manners in “Sextette”

Well shit in one hand and wish in the other. See which one fills up first.

Billy Bob Thornton

TV/Movie Quotes As Willie in “Bad Santa” Wishing

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, “Hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Of a video game

… alligators have the right idea… they eat their young.

Eve Arden

(1908 – 1990) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Ida Corwin in “Mildred Pierce”

… the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window!

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Thornton Melon in “Back to School”

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children” Marital aids

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 40)

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

Sam: Coach, I’m gonna be blunt with you. Her friend’s cute and all that, but she doesn’t have what I’m lookin’ for in a woman.
Diane: What’s that? Break-away clothes?

Howard Johnson: Y’know, Nietzsche says: “Out of chaos comes order.”
Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

Ever since Renee, models from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs have only had one name!

I thought that "Roman candles" just meant that they were imported. You know, from Romany.

Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don’t think you mean “Topeka.”
Kelly: Oh yeah. Urethra! I have found it!

Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath, looks like you really got your hands full.
Catherine: Oh, it’s not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs.

When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman’s mouth?

God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

I used to be Snow White… but I drifted.

You know, sometimes when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.

I’m suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration.

Bart: Mornin’, ma’am. And isn’t it a lovely mornin’?
Elderly woman: Up yours, nigger.

I’m the lady who works at Paramount all day… and Fox all night.

Well shit in one hand and wish in the other. See which one fills up first.

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, “Hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”

… alligators have the right idea… they eat their young.

… the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window!

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!