Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 43)

Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer Life TV/Movie Quotes

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

I’m not really a cab driver. I’m just waiting for something better to come along. You know, like death.

(1935 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

As inevitable as death in Texas.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Why don't you trade in your head for a bowling ball?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’ll you have Normie?

Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

No, with women, I never cry. Never. I beg

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

We hold these semi-animal meetings.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Mary: I was in bed.

Sue Ann: Oh, good. Then you’re alone!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

I’d give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward!

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough mornings and work late enough nights, you’ll make a fortune – if you strike oil on it.

(1896 – 1988) American actor
Definitions TV/Movie Quotes

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

[on phone] No, the doctor isn’t in just now. Oh, he won’t be back for a long, long time. He went out on one of those eternity cases.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Bart: Can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man?

Howard Johnson: We don’t care if it’s the first act of “Henry V,” we’re leaving!

(1932 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
TV/Movie Quotes