Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 44)

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?

S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Memory TV/Movie Quotes

That’s Grossberger, the biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest. He killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend… and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family.

(1943 – ) Cuban-American actor & director
TV/Movie Quotes

You can’t fool me! There ain’t no Sanity Clause!

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: I just love what you’ve done with your apartment, Mary!

Mary: But I haven’t done anything.

Sue Ann: I know. That took guts!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Making suppository remarks about our country.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

[Sam and Diane are fighting… yet again] Carla: Oh, now why would I want to miss this? Yet another episode of The Young and the Chestless?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence; ya know, fourscore and seven years ago.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

The Great Man: [Suffering from a hangover] Somebody put too many olives in my martini last night!

Stewardess: Should I get you a Bromo?

The Great Man: No, I couldn’t stand the noise!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.
Cliff: Norm, you’ve got time to make your own coal.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Time TV/Movie Quotes

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Bonnie: That’s really wonderful. You got him [a calf] to drink from the bottle.

Mitch: Yeah, thank God, ‘cause my nipples were killing me.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
TV/Movie Quotes

Crowbar… dynamite… cyanide; Fester… as if we'd run out.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

This stuff tastes awful. I could make a fortune selling it in my health food store.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory… and he won't get to come.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

It must have been tough on your mother, not having any children.

(1911 – 1995) American actress, dancer & singer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not about who you love, it’s how you love. Genitalia is just God’s way of accessorizing.

(1943 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Comedy is tragedy plus time!

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Entertainment TV/Movie Quotes