TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 45)

The ancient Egyptian kings, the fairy-ohs.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Waitress: And another thing, don’t be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey. I was only trying to guess your weight.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As The Great Man in “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break”

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn’t have a fish market.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes Fulton Fish Market

You know what they say, misery is the best company.

Jean Stapleton

(1923 – 2013) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Edith Bunker in “All In the Family” Misery loves company

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

Ted Knight

(1923 – 1986) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”

I live at home with my parents. It’s just temporary … ‘til they die.

Kevin Kirkpatrick

American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Gordon in “Gamers”

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin’ over.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Chromosomes Urges

Early to bed and early to rise is the curse of the working class.

James Garner

(1928 – 2014) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Bret Maverick in “Maverick”

Peggy: I want sex.
Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”

Elwood: Eh… what kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.

Sheilah Wells

(1941 – ) American actress

Entertainment Music TV/Movie Quotes As Claire in “The Blues Brothers”

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?

Madeline Kahn

(1942 – 1999) American actress

Husbands TV/Movie Quotes As Mrs. White in “Clue”

What are we all here, the Norman Cravernacle Choir?

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Mormon Tabernacle Choir

What’s all this I hear about endangered feces?

Gilda Radner

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Endangered species

[Head spins wildly and begins shrieking] Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Michael Keaton

(1951 – ) American actor, comedian, producer & director

TV/Movie Quotes As Beetlejuice in “Beetlejuice”

Besides me, who would point out that your teeth have turned the same color of yellow as your underwear and that you have more hair in your nose than on your head?

Katey Sagal

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

TV/Movie Quotes As Peg Bundy in “Married With Children”

Army recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
Ziskey: Never convicted.

Harold Ramis

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer

Crime TV/Movie Quotes As Russell Ziskey in “Stripes”

Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Insults TV/Movie Quotes In “Monkey Business”

Daddy, I just found out I'm dying. I have Bulgaria. The doctor says it's terminus.

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Malaria

In a pig’s dye.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Eye

I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Health TV/Movie Quotes Analysis As Mickey in “Hannah and Her Sisters”

We Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that’s coming quickly.

Mel Brooks

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Comicus in “History of the World Part I” Gods

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 45)

The ancient Egyptian kings, the fairy-ohs.

Waitress: And another thing, don’t be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey. I was only trying to guess your weight.

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn’t have a fish market.

You know what they say, misery is the best company.

It’s actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?

I live at home with my parents. It’s just temporary … ‘til they die.

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin’ over.

Early to bed and early to rise is the curse of the working class.

Peggy: I want sex.
Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.

Elwood: Eh… what kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?

What are we all here, the Norman Cravernacle Choir?

What’s all this I hear about endangered feces?

[Head spins wildly and begins shrieking] Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Besides me, who would point out that your teeth have turned the same color of yellow as your underwear and that you have more hair in your nose than on your head?

Army recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
Ziskey: Never convicted.

Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?

Daddy, I just found out I'm dying. I have Bulgaria. The doctor says it's terminus.

In a pig’s dye.

I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar.

We Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that’s coming quickly.