TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 48)

I feel like a million tonight… but one at a time.

Mae West

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Al Qaeda on Friday released a statement confirming the death of Osama Bin Laden. They also announced that, as a result, Monday will be a half-day.

Tina Fey

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

TV/Movie Quotes From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live” Osama bin Laden

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?
Edina: Get cabs!

Jennifer Saunders

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Edina (Eddie) in “Absolutely Fabulous”

That's all, folks!

Mel Blanc

(1908 – 1989) voice actor & comedian (voice of cartoon character Porky Pig)

Epitaphs TV/Movie Quotes Epitaph of Mel Blanc Phrase of Porky Pig

Chinese Food: You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.

Miss Piggy

Muppet character (Frank Oz)

Eating Food/Drink Things TV/Movie Quotes Chop sticks

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Boris in “Love and Death”

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

Tina Fey

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Liz Lemon in “30 Rock”

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Occupations TV/Movie Quotes As Larsen E. Whipsnade in “You Can’t Cheat an Honest Man”

Fester, I hope one day you feel the indescribable joy of having kids, and having someone else raise them.

Raul Julia

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family Values”

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

Nick Offerman

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter

Activities TV/Movie Quotes As Ron Swanson in “Parks and Recreation” Fishing

Now, if you’ll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of two things: balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination, and a killer’s instinct!

John Astin

(1930 – ) American actor

Sports TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in TV’s “The Addams Family” Croquet

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

Alec Baldwin

(1958 – ) American actor & producer

Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes As Jack Donaghy in “30 Rock”

This isn’t the state of California, it’s a state of insanity.

Robert Stack

(1919 – 2003) American actor & television host

TV/Movie Quotes As General Joseph W. Stilwell in “1941”

Tonight, I become a lesbian.

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Thespian

Sorry, Peg, I didn’t hear you; I was thinking of killing myself.

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Self TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”

Well, I think we should get some bricks and some baseball bats and go over there and teach them the true meaning of Christmas.

Alice Ghostley

(1924 – 2007) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Bernice in “Designing Women”

I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.

David Hyde Pierce

(1959 – ) American actor

Emotions TV/Movie Quotes As Niles Crane in “Frasier” Twinkle in her eye

Whenever you see a man who’s well groomed, you can bet he’s not getting any.

David Hyde Pierce

(1959 – ) American actor

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Niles Crane in “Frasier”

State Trooper: Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It’s your choice. So what’s it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I’m thinking…

Bill Murray

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Phil Connors in “Groundhog Day”

The name’s Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me ‘Psycho.’ Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you … And I don’t like nobody touching my stuff … If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. Also, I don’t like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.

Conrad Dunn

American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Francis ‘Psycho’ Soyer in “Stripes”

Last week, Hurricane Wilma grew into the strongest storm ever recorded in the Atlantic, with sustained winds at 175 miles per hour… or, as it’s called around FEMA, ‘Casual Friday’.

Tina Fey

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

TV/Movie Quotes From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 48)

I feel like a million tonight… but one at a time.

Al Qaeda on Friday released a statement confirming the death of Osama Bin Laden. They also announced that, as a result, Monday will be a half-day.

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?
Edina: Get cabs!

That's all, folks!

Chinese Food: You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

Fester, I hope one day you feel the indescribable joy of having kids, and having someone else raise them.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

Now, if you’ll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of two things: balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination, and a killer’s instinct!

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

This isn’t the state of California, it’s a state of insanity.

Tonight, I become a lesbian.

Sorry, Peg, I didn’t hear you; I was thinking of killing myself.

Well, I think we should get some bricks and some baseball bats and go over there and teach them the true meaning of Christmas.

I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.

Whenever you see a man who’s well groomed, you can bet he’s not getting any.

State Trooper: Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It’s your choice. So what’s it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I’m thinking…

Last week, Hurricane Wilma grew into the strongest storm ever recorded in the Atlantic, with sustained winds at 175 miles per hour… or, as it’s called around FEMA, ‘Casual Friday’.