Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 49)

There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.

(1956 – ) English-Canadian actress
TV/Movie Quotes

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

John Winger: I’ve had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I’ve lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.

Ziskey: You still have your health.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

A woman should cleave into her husband… right here in this house is where Edith’s cleavage belongs.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

We’re sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

What is this? … A center for ants? … (points to a scale model of the new library) How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?

(1965 – ) American actor, comedian, screenwriter, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

(1919 – 2003) American actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

If I wanted you to know what I’m thinking, I’d be talking.

(1946 – ) American actor
Communication Speech TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t care if he’s rich or poor, fat or thin, as long as he’s rich and thin.

(1970 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I wonder about things, like, if they call an orange an “orange,” then why don’t we call a banana a “yellow” or an apple a “red”? Blueberries, I understand; but will someone explain gooseberries to me?

(1938 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I’d like to see you in Hell.

(1958 – ) American actress, musician & dancer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.

Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

(1973 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s the story Norm?

Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Entertainment Music TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

(1991 – ) American actor, singer & screenwriter
Sports TV/Movie Quotes

You must come down with me – after the show – to the lumberyard… and ride piggyback on the buzzsaw.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Morticia: Where are we?

Grandma: It looks familiar… of course, the gates of hell.

(1952 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes