Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 5)

That woman is liable to come at you like Doberman’s Pincher.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Mr. Schuster: I didn’t know Orientals had a sense of humor.

Yemana: Are you kidding? We invented gunpowder.

(1917 – 1979) Japanese-American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health TV/Movie Quotes

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

To you, I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

For years I wouldn’t kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek… and I end up kissing her ass!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Eddie: Where’s my thing? You know, my thing… my vibrating thing…

Patsy: Right by your bedside drawer, darling.

Eddie: Not THAT, not THAT!… My beeper, my beeper!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?

Howard: I say, “Hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t know why I ever come in here. Flies get the best of everything!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Squid pro quo.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

It’s irrevelant.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

What do I look like, an inferior decorator?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

No, no, you’ve always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.

(1960 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence; ya know, fourscore and seven years ago.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

The prostitution rests.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Just do it Baldrick, or I shall further enoble you by knighting you very clumsily with this meat cleaver.

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes