Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 51)

If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions TV/Movie Quotes

Allan: You were fantastic last night in bed.
Linda: Oh, thanks.
Allan: How do you feel now?
Linda: I think the Pepto Bismol helped.

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Now, if you’ll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of two things: balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination, and a killer’s instinct!

(1930 – ) American actor
Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Ain’t no use running, fool! I know where your mama parks your house!

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & skateboarder
TV/Movie Quotes

Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today – you run over a small child or something?

(1931 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

It took me 20 years to memorize the deformaties of the room.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

(1962 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Comedy is tragedy plus time!

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Entertainment TV/Movie Quotes

You’re just wasting your breath, and that’s no great loss either.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Ordinary tradegies of war.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

In the words of Harry S. Truman: If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

Archie: … Dragging me off to a moving picture like that, it was absolutely disgusting!

Edith: Well, I’m sorry, Archie. How was I to know? I thought it was a religious picture: Cardinal Knowledge.

(1923 – 2013) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

How’s a beer sound, Norm?

I dunno, I usually finish them before they get a word in.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

In bed, I’m totally impudent… [later] I got the feeling my prudence is coming back.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

In the news today Ellen DeGeneres announced that she was gay, and in related news Richard Simmons announced today that he is really, really gay.

TV/Movie Quotes

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

These people know a lot about that voodoody-ohh-doo-doo.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

It passes outta you through your lower intestubes.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Your lucky number… is… C.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes