Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 53)

It is harder for the spider to catch a fly than it is for the fly to catch a horse.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes… it lasts forever.

(1969 - ) American actor, comedian, & screenwriter
TV/Movie Quotes

And our credo: “Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.” We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

Never play in a rigged game, unless you rig it yourself.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

For years I wouldn’t kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek… and I end up kissing her ass!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed, but we're going back again in a couple of weeks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Daddy, I have heat probation.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Beverly LaSalle: I'm a transvestite.

Edith Bunker: Could've fooled me; you ain't even got no accent.

(1923 – 2013) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Nothing Eyetalian because it causes garlic stones.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

According to Secret Service logs, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff was at the White House only two times in the past fives years; of course, the real question is: was it the same two times that President Bush was there?

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Amanda: Why are you dressed like somebody died?

Wednesday: Wait.

(1980 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

With the shape I’m in you could donate my body to science fiction.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

What’s all this talk I’ve been hearing about violins on television?’

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I know she's a bit touchy about her age – even though it's not the first time she's turned 40.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Age TV/Movie Quotes

Whaddya say, Norm?

Well, I never met a beer I didn’t drink.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
People TV/Movie Quotes Women

I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just… I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: How about a beer, Norm?

Norm: Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Elle: Did you see him? He’s probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

(1961 – ) American actress & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Bart: Can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man?

Howard Johnson: We don’t care if it’s the first act of “Henry V,” we’re leaving!

(1932 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes