Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 54)

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

That’s Grossberger, the biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest. He killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend… and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family.

(1943 – ) Cuban-American actor & director
TV/Movie Quotes

How do I explain her? [her mother] She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

[Brandishing a battleaxe] I haven’t used this baby since the taxman was here!

(1930 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

He tried to choke me! You saw it. He called me a baboon, thinks I’m his wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

(1934 – ) English actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

She’s gone to Mexico for face-lifts so many times, I’ll bet if you whacked her head with a stick, prizes would fall out.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Heeeere’s Johnny!

(1937 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: Coach, I’m having blackouts!

Coach: Kinda nice break in the day, isn’t it, Sam?

(1924 – 1985) American actor & television director
TV/Movie Quotes

I like Mexico; it’s so… Mexican.

(1908 – 1990) American actress
Places TV/Movie Quotes

Allison Capuletti: [as Monty is walking her down the aisle during her wedding ceremony] He’s everything I ever wanted.

Monty: You don’t ask for much do you?

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Danny, I’m having a party this weekend; … how would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Stamped inedibly on my heart.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s new Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It’s a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather TV/Movie Quotes

Grace Fielding: Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Bellows. I didn’t recognize you in this bad light.

S.B. Bellows: Ah, everybody seems to see me in a bad light.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes