Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 55)

With the Crane boys genes and Lilith’s contribution, I’m not sure the NFL is holding it’s breath.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Egbert: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill?

Bartender: Yeah.

Egbert: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind. I thought I’d lost it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Time to cleanse my palette – I’m gonna get a beer.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Fester, I hope one day you feel the indescribable joy of having kids, and having someone else raise them.

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: Sam, may I have a brief word with you?

Sam: I suppose you could, but I doubt it.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

As a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Man is the only animal you can skin more than once.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Time TV/Movie Quotes

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I have two words for you… shut the f**k up!

(1943 – ) American actor, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

We Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation but I hear that’s coming quickly.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

I've been things and seen places.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes

Meet me down in the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Yeah, now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

There’s an old saying, “Ya don’t keep runnin’ after you catch the bus.”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Bonnie, there’s a stampede… in your tent!

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
TV/Movie Quotes

I haven’t seen this many white people in tuxedos since the Titanic.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes