Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 55)

A jester unemployed is nobody’s fool.

(1913 – 1987) American actor, singer, dancer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Mary: I was in bed.

Sue Ann: Oh, good. Then you’re alone!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Edward Lewis [after Vivian] answers his call]: I told you not to pick up the phone.
Vivian: Then stop calling me.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s new Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions TV/Movie Quotes

Madame Swempski: I don’t like this innuendo.

Groucho: That’s what I always say: love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian – or Christ, for short.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Melvin: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol: That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

(1937 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

ventriloquist dummy of Edgar Bergen (1903 – 1978)
TV/Movie Quotes

Get that ugly, flea-ridden, stinking animal out of my garage, and tell him to take his horse with him!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Daddy, you know I haven't worn pantyhose since I was seven.

(1971 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

We’re not fighting, Carla. We’re merely discussing a little difference of opinion… I think Sam is a heartless mindless slack-jawed cretin and he disagrees.

(1949 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

“Let ’em eat cake,” to quote the late Mark Antonette.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Sonja: Of course there’s a God! We’re made in His image!
Boris: You think I was made in God’s image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses?
Sonja: Not with those frames.

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Rita: Do you ever have déjà vu?

Phil: Didn’t you just ask me that?

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Time TV/Movie Quotes

My knowledge of art is limited to Kirk Douglas as Vincent Van Gogh.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes