Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
TV/Movie Quotes
(Page 56)
Archie Bunker: Here’s something we can see in Disney World. They got an all bear band.Edith Bunker: They got a naked band at Disney World?
Jean Stapleton
(1923 – 2013) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Edith Bunker in “All In the Family”
Disney World
If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
Speech
TV/Movie Quotes
Public Speaking
You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the best Supporting Actor.
Harvey Korman
(1927 – 2008) American comedic actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Hedley Lamarr in “Blazing Saddles”
Honor thy parents. That’s one of the Lord’s Top 10 Commandments. That’s right around covetin’ your neighbor’s cattles and wives and there.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs
Misspokements
Religion
TV/Movie Quotes
I’m sure in your next life you’re going to be
reincarcerated.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Reincarnated
Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says ‘Is this a joke?’
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Rev. Walter Goodfellow in “Keeping Mum”
Jokes
I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.
Frank Morgan
(1890 – 1949) American actor
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Diploma
That’s the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!
Raul Julia
(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family”
It really kind of
infilterates the no-strils.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Infiltrates the nostrils
Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don’t think I’m up to a performance, but I’ll rehearse with you, if you like.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex
TV/Movie Quotes
As Miles Monroe in “Sleeper”
What on Earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it.
Rowan Atkinson
(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes
Hangover
You're like the pessimist, who looks at his pants and thinks they're half empty. You should be more like the
optometrist,
who looks through his glasses and thinks they're half full.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Optimist
This week British Prime Minister Tony Blair was re-elected to a record-setting third term as George Bush’s bitch.
Amy Poehler
(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
TV/Movie Quotes
Tony Blair
Sam: What’d you like Normie?
Norm: A reason to live. Give me another beer.
Norm
George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer
TV/Movie Quotes
As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”
I’d say that the Meathead probably got
magnesia
and forgot where his mouth was.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Amnesia
That poor girl… Lurch, was she in there before you baked?
Raul Julia
(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
TV/Movie Quotes
As Gomez Addams in “Addams Family Values”
Waiting for the girl to pop out of a cake
The Dago on the
Yarmulke.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Yamaha
Woman: The house… looks like it’s haunted.
Morticia: Thank you.
Carolyn Jones
(1930 – 1983) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Morticia Addams in TV’s “The Addams Family”
[Sam and Diane are fighting… yet again] Carla: Oh, now why would I want to miss this? Yet another episode of
The Young and the Chestless?
Rhea Perlman
(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Carla Tortelli in “Cheers”
Morticia: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.Ellen: Boys?Wednesday: Homicide.
Christina Ricci
(1980 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Wednesday Addams in “The Addams Family Values”
Homicide
After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.ating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.
Miss Piggy
Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink
TV/Movie Quotes
Artichoke
Page 56 of 78
« First
« Previous
54
55
56
57
58
Next »
Last »