Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 56)

Archie Bunker: Here’s something we can see in Disney World. They got an all bear band.
Edith Bunker: They got a naked band at Disney World?

(1923 – 2013) American actress

If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the best Supporting Actor.

(1927 – 2008) American comedic actor

Honor thy parents. That’s one of the Lord’s Top 10 Commandments. That’s right around covetin’ your neighbor’s cattles and wives and there.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I’m sure in your next life you’re going to be reincarcerated.

(1971 – ) American actress

Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says ‘Is this a joke?’

(1955 – ) English actor

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.

(1890 – 1949) American actor

That’s the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

It really kind of infilterates the no-strils.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don’t think I’m up to a performance, but I’ll rehearse with you, if you like.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

What on Earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it.

(1955 – ) English actor

You're like the pessimist, who looks at his pants and thinks they're half empty. You should be more like the optometrist, who looks through his glasses and thinks they're half full.

(1971 – ) American actress

This week British Prime Minister Tony Blair was re-elected to a record-setting third term as George Bush’s bitch.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Sam: What’d you like Normie?

Norm: A reason to live. Give me another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

I’d say that the Meathead probably got magnesia and forgot where his mouth was.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

That poor girl… Lurch, was she in there before you baked?

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

The Dago on the Yarmulke.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Woman: The house… looks like it’s haunted.

Morticia: Thank you.

(1930 – 1983) American actress

[Sam and Diane are fighting… yet again] Carla: Oh, now why would I want to miss this? Yet another episode of The Young and the Chestless?

(1948 – ) American actress

Morticia: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Ellen: Boys?

Wednesday: Homicide.

(1980 – ) American actress

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.ating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)