Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 60)

Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don’t think you mean “Topeka.”
Kelly: Oh yeah. Urethra! I have found it!

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

At the dedication of his Presidential Library, George W. Bush said it’s long been his dream to build a building for teenagers to drink behind.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Ya know, “Fourscore and seven years ago.”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than “lots.”

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s going down, Normie?

Norm: My butt cheeks on that bar stool.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Nancy: My lawyer will call your lawyer.

Allan: I don’t have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Poor Emily. It’s so sad that she mixed drugs and alcohol and spent the night with you… when most people only die.

(1952 – ) American actress, producer, radio host, & author
TV/Movie Quotes

If there’s anything that upsets me, it’s having people say I’m sensitive.

(1924 – 2006) American comedic actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: And where the hell do you think you’re going?

Martin: To sit in the tub with a toaster and wait for the power to come back on.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Is a bear Catholic?

(1971 – ) American actress
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

If that ain’t the black calling the kettle pot!

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

That’s OK, we can walk to the curb from here.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

It doesn’t seem fair, does it Norm … that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille; I used to rub the dirty parts.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to them anymore.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I've got this boy as fidgety as a bubble dancer with a slow leak.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m going to take the high road, and just because I’m high.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

The Bunkers is going down to Florida as pre-deranged.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not the years, Honey, it’s the mileage.

(1942 – ) American film actor
TV/Movie Quotes