Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 61)

A man does what he has to do… if he can’t get out of it.

(1928 – 2014) American actor

That’s what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped ’em out of Manhattan.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

A jester unemployed is nobody’s fool.

(1913 – 1987) American actor, singer, dancer & comedian

Hey, Alex – You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Stamped inedibly on my heart.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Nice boy… but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

I’ve smoked since I was five… mother insisted.

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin’ over.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer

I like Mexico; it’s so… Mexican.

(1908 – 1990) American actress

That’s Grossberger, the biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest. He killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend… and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family.

(1943 – ) Cuban-American actor & director

Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

You can leave in a taxi… If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff… if that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

One snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high the world’s your gynecologist.

(1946 – ) English actress, model & author

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Waiter: Would you like to have anything before lunch?
Chico: Yes, breakfast.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers

Mr. Buckman: Our Amanda’s already skipped two grades. How about your boy?

Gomez: Probation!

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

Looks like the cows have come home to roost.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor