Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 63)

I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The guy I fell in love with had an easy going spirit with a fast car; but he wouldn't marry me, so I ended up with you.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

The atheist religion don’t believe in the Bible.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?

Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

My uncle had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water.

cartoon character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Charles Fleischer)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Jack: We’ll rent a movie. You’re into gay porn, right?

Grace: Who isn’t?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

Mother Superiority

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men TV/Movie Quotes

NO! I will not have sex for money! I only have sex for jewels, furs, or mixed securities, like a lady.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Howard Johnson: Y’know, Nietzsche says: “Out of chaos comes order.”

Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.

(1930 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Dances with Wool.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Well, well, well. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci’d and dragged in.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

[to waitress]: I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’ t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Important announcement: [to campers] Some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you’re hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?

Another layer for the winter, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?

[his daughter Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.

(1979 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes