Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 66)

Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking

Arthur: It’d have to be a real big woman.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

A man does what he has to do… if he can’t get out of it.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: I’ve been taking stock of myself.

Carla: Not exactly AT&T, is it?

(1948 – ) American actress
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Vivian: That would make you a… lawyer.
Edward: What makes you think I’m a lawyer?
Vivian: You have that sharp, useless look about you.

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

It ain’t enough that he’s a Pinko and an atheist; you gonna turn him from a man to a morphadite?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin’ over.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

[to the family] Dinner's gonna be late. [goes outside] Here, boy! Here, boy!


TV/Movie Quotes

No dice, Chicago. I’m giving the orders and we’re coming in. I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it, Kramer?

(1947 – ) American actor
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you’ll be dating sperm.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

But they have one great redeeming feature: their wallets! More capacious than an elephant’s scrotum, and just as difficult to get your hands on!

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Coach: What’s going on, Norm?

Norm: Science is seeking a cure for thirst and I happen to be the guinea pig.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Folks, I’ve just received a special news bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth.”

(1923 – 1986) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?

(1964 – ) American actress, producer & director
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems. 

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Insurance is like marriage – you pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

My parents keep asking how school was. It’s like saying, “How was that drive-by shooting?” You don’t care how it was, you’re lucky to get out alive.

(1979 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School TV/Movie Quotes

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes