Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 69)

Looking at the initials on your monogroom.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Honey, I’d suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

[Brandishing a battleaxe] I haven’t used this baby since the taxman was here!

(1930 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Rita: Do you ever have déjà vu?

Phil: Didn’t you just ask me that?

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

In the news today Ellen DeGeneres announced that she was gay, and in related news Richard Simmons announced today that he is really, really gay.

TV/Movie Quotes

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Memory TV/Movie Quotes

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place… He kept ditching me.

(1938 – ) American actor
God TV/Movie Quotes

What do I look like, an inferior decorator?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Eddie: Where’s my thing? You know, my thing… my vibrating thing…

Patsy: Right by your bedside drawer, darling.

Eddie: Not THAT, not THAT!… My beeper, my beeper!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

That’s the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I didn’t ask her for nothin.’ It was her that reduced me.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.

cartoon character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Kathleen Turner)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

I need to make as much as my wife so I don’t have to try so hard in bed.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Money Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Never give a sucker an even break.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

I can’t figure women out. They only think about themselves. Why, during sex, Vanessa – she used to scream out her own name!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Jack: We are lovers.

Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Spanish? I thought they were just English words I didn't know.

(1971 – ) American actress
Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not about who you love, it’s how you love. Genitalia is just God’s way of accessorizing.

(1943 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

These go to 11.

(1948 – ) English-American screenwriter, musician, director & actor
Entertainment Music TV/Movie Quotes

[After the mob on horseback encounters a toll booth] Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes.

(1919 – 1983) American rodeo performer & actor
TV/Movie Quotes