Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 69)

Morticia: Where are we?

Grandma: It looks familiar… of course, the gates of hell.

(1952 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Scream if you need anything.

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

[after snorkeling in a hot tub with four bikini-clad co-eds] Now that’s what I call marine biology!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm on the horns of an enema.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Tell ’em we’re all decreased – we went last night in a suicide pact.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Joshua Jackson)
Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I'll get some aspirin and we caI’ll get some aspirin and we can sit here and solve the case of the wife who’s not getting any. n sit here and solve the case of the wife who's not getting any.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Those who can, do; those who can't, do not.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Gloria: Ma, are you in some kind of trouble?

Edith: No, and I can’t tell you what it is!

(1923 – 2013) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

My father drank beer in the morning; later in the day he drank anything.

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Women… can’t live with ‘em… pass the beer nuts.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Women

Look at the two chimpanzoos over here.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Agatha Sousé: Don’t you dare strike that child!

Sousé: She’s not gonna tell me I don’t love her.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report… run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

According to Secret Service logs, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff was at the White House only two times in the past fives years; of course, the real question is: was it the same two times that President Bush was there?

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Time TV/Movie Quotes

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes