Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 71)

My parents keep asking how school was. It’s like saying, “How was that drive-by shooting?” You don’t care how it was, you’re lucky to get out alive.

(1979 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Susan: Arthur, will you take my hand?

Arthur: That would leave you with one!

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
TV/Movie Quotes

Ever since Renee, models from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs have only had one name!

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.

(1959 – ) American actor
Emotions TV/Movie Quotes

I don’date these girls because they’re well-read. I gave one of them a copy of “Farewell to Arms” . She thought it was a diet book.

(1934 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Young man, I'm going to be on you like a numerator on a denominator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Harry Shearer)
TV/Movie Quotes

My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.

(1971 – ) American actor, director & producer
Eating TV/Movie Quotes

We’re sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

The way a doctor writes out a subscription.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

These dice are colder than my first wife.

Peter Falk (1927 – 2011) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

There’s no crying in baseball!

(1956 – ) American movie actor
Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Cliff: Sometimes I’m ashamed God made me a man.

Carla: I don’t think God’s doing a whole lot of bragging about it either.

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

You know those cute little Japanese dolls that you rub on the belly for luck? … I’m taking one out to dinner tonight.

(1917 – 1979) Japanese-American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Frasier: I’m having a young lady over on Friday night. I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you’d said Saturday.
Frasier: Why? You have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Feed a cold, starve for pizza. Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I have an agreement with the houseflies; the flies don’t practice law and I don’t walk on the ceiling.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.

(1943 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Arthur Harmon: [Looking at Maude’s black eye] If the Our Gang” comedies ever come back, you could be the dog.

Maude: And if Mister Ed ever comes back, there’d be a part for you. I’m not talking about the part that talks.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is ‘popular’.

(1985 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Bebe: You’re even more handsome than the last time I saw you. If I were twenty years older, they couldn’t keep me away from you.

Martin: That’s why I keep this cane.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Like trying to poke a cat out from under a porch with a wet rope.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Problems TV/Movie Quotes