Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 72)

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

I finally had an orgasm and my doctor told me it was the wrong kind.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Buenos nachos.

(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.ating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’s shaking Norm?

Norm: All four cheeks & a couple of chins.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Modeling is such a great job! Maybe I could be one of the ones in store windows.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Woman: The house… looks like it’s haunted.

Morticia: Thank you.

(1930 – 1983) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Mary: Could the reason you can’t find a guy is because you’re letting them ride the rollercoaster without buying a ticket?

Penny: Oh, they don’t always get to ride the roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups.

(1985 – ) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: Did you ever have a pet?

Coach: You mean like an animal?

(1924 – 1985) American actor & television director
TV/Movie Quotes

He’s perfect for her – he has no apparent spine, and she can wrap him round her little finger.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Time to cleanse my palette – I’m gonna get a beer.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I feel as though the Russian Army has been walking over my tongue in their stocking feet.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Eddie: Well, darling, she’s been low recently.

Saffie: Low? She’d get vertigo in a sewer.


TV/Movie Quotes

That's all, folks!

(1908 – 1989) voice actor & comedian (voice of cartoon character Porky Pig)
Epitaphs TV/Movie Quotes

It doesn’t seem fair, does it Norm … that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

He tried to choke me! You saw it. He called me a baboon, thinks I’m his wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

The scariest words of my childhood were: “Your father needs your help in the basement.”

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Arthur Harmon: [Looking at Maude’s black eye] If the Our Gang” comedies ever come back, you could be the dog.

Maude: And if Mister Ed ever comes back, there’d be a part for you. I’m not talking about the part that talks.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

(1934 – ) English actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes