Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 74)

Al Qaeda on Friday released a statement confirming the death of Osama Bin Laden. They also announced that, as a result, Monday will be a half-day.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

My father died dancing… on the end of a rope.

(1903 – 1952) American comedian & actor (The Three Stooges)
TV/Movie Quotes

No matter how long we’ve been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, “turn me over.”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

[to Mrs. Jordan as she is in labor] Calm down, everything is fine, I just administered an epidural. Would you like one, too?

(1967 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.

(1971 – ) American actor, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

I love my family, but that is no reason why I need to acknowledge them in public.

(1929 – ) English actress & singer
Family TV/Movie Quotes

Bring the dog, I love animals. I’m a great cook.

(1947 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

The Lord descend down a thundervolt.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

My parents keep asking how school was. It’s like saying, “How was that drive-by shooting?” You don’t care how it was, you’re lucky to get out alive.

(1979 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

This isn’t the state of California, it’s a state of insanity.

(1919 – 2003) American actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

Harry Payne Bosterly: You’re drunk!

Harold: And you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow and you’ll be crazy for the rest of your life.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

When Martha Stewart reported to prison yesterday, she was subjected to an invasive strip search that included a squat and cough, during which she laid two perfect blue speckled eggs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, ‘Is this all I got?’

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

Sonja: Of course there’s a God! We’re made in His image!
Boris: You think I was made in God’s image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses?
Sonja: Not with those frames.

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Alright, but stop me at one… make that one-thirty.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Look, you’re always such a nice guy. But let’s face it, we have nothing in common except sex and the fact that you idolize me.

(1964 – ) Australian model, television host & actress
TV/Movie Quotes