TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 75)

I’m due at the ballet. They’re doin’ Swoon Lake.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Remember Danny, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.

Chevy Chase

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ty Webb in “Caddyshack”

Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody’s dead, try to ask a question or two.

Kevin Kline

(1947 – ) American stage & screen actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ulysses S. Grant in “Wild Wild West”

Madder than a barefoot centipede on a hot rock.

Buddy Ebsen

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

Anger TV/Movie Quotes As Jed Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies”

Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.

Jack McBrayer

(1973 – ) American actor

Science/Weather TV/Movie Quotes As Kenneth Parcell in “30 Rock”

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Allan Felix From “Play It Again Sam” Suicide

[doorbell rings] Peg, could you get that? It’s probably the ‘Homeless: It Could Be Worse’ Tour.

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Life TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”

Morticia: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.
Gomez: A girl.
Morticia: An open grave. It was my first funeral.
Gomez: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

Raul Julia

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family”

Suzanne: Where are our seats?
Julia: I don’t know. If history teaches us anything, mine will be next to a baby who smokes.

Dixie Carter

(1939 – 2010) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Julia Sugarbaker in “Designing Women”

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

Leslie Nielsen

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

TV/Movie Quotes Leslie Nielsen As Lt. Frank Drebin in “Police Squad”

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Self TV/Movie Quotes

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Alvy Singer in “Annie Hall” Masturbation

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

Michael Richards

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer

Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes As Cosmo Kramer in “ Seinfeld”

I have an interesting case. I’ m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’ m getting paid by eight people.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes Analysis As Leonard Zelig in “Zelig” As Leonard Zelig in “Zelig” Siamese twins

Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing.

Larry Linville

(1939 – 2000) American actor

Military TV/Movie Quotes As Frank Burns in TV’s “M*A*S*H” Discipline Uniforms

Sam: You know what Woody, you just gave me something to think about.
Woody: I’m sorry Sam, I hate it when someone does that to me.

Woody Harrelson

(1961 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Woody Boyd in “Cheers”

Harry: Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must be retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.

Billy Crystal

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director

TV/Movie Quotes As Harry Burns in “When Harry Met Sally...”

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

Tom Hollander

(1967 – ) English actor

Fights TV/Movie Quotes As Lord Cutler Beckett

You’re breakin’ about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Ed: You want to take a dinghy?
Drebin: No, I took care of that at the press conference.

Leslie Nielsen

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Lt. Frank Drebin in “Police Squad”

If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Animals TV/Movie Quotes

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 75)

I’m due at the ballet. They’re doin’ Swoon Lake.

Remember Danny, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.

Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody’s dead, try to ask a question or two.

Madder than a barefoot centipede on a hot rock.

Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?

[doorbell rings] Peg, could you get that? It’s probably the ‘Homeless: It Could Be Worse’ Tour.

Morticia: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.
Gomez: A girl.
Morticia: An open grave. It was my first funeral.
Gomez: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

Suzanne: Where are our seats?
Julia: I don’t know. If history teaches us anything, mine will be next to a baby who smokes.

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

I have an interesting case. I’ m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’ m getting paid by eight people.

Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing.

Sam: You know what Woody, you just gave me something to think about.
Woody: I’m sorry Sam, I hate it when someone does that to me.

Harry: Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must be retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die.

You’re breakin’ about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen.

Ed: You want to take a dinghy?
Drebin: No, I took care of that at the press conference.

If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?