TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 76)

You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, which doesn’t say much for you.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don’t you get a perm?
Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

Barbra Streisand

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director

Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes As Rose Morgan in “The Mirror Has Two Faces”

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

Amy Poehler

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes From “Saturday Night Live”

I am blind like the mighty oak.

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”

Normally, I’m not turned on by big teeth, but on you they work.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

It’s so simple to be wise… just thing of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Wisdom

Gomez: He has my father's eyes.
Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

Angelica Huston

(1951 – ) American actress & director

Appearance TV/Movie Quotes As Morticia Addams in the film “The Addams Family”

I have two words for you… shut the f**k up!

Robert De Niro

(1943 – ) American actor, director & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Jack Walsh in “Midnight Run”

Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.
Lamont: At your age, you don’t have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat.

Demond Wilson

(1946 – ) American actor

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Lamont Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Cliff Stern in “Crimes and Misdemeanors”

The Great Man: [Suffering from a hangover] Somebody put too many olives in my martini last night!
Stewardess: Should I get you a Bromo?
The Great Man: No, I couldn’t stand the noise!

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As The Great Man in “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break” Hangover

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: Certainly. You take the blonde and I’ll take the one in the turban.

Marty Feldman

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Igor in “Young Frankenstein”

L.A.!? We're going to Long Island!?

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” L.A.

Harry: Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must be retaining water.
Sally: Harry.
Harry: Believe me, the woman saved everything.

Billy Crystal

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director

TV/Movie Quotes As Harry Burns in “When Harry Met Sally...”

Frasier: I asked Dad to get me a bran muffin. You know what he said to me? “What’s the magic word?”
Niles: You’re kidding.
Frasier: He didn’t think it was very amusing when I said, “Rest home!”

Kelsey Grammer

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier”

The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

Foghorn Leghorn

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Secretary: It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.
Field’s reply: Yes, it is, very hard… it’s almost impossible.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Ambrose Wolfinger in “Man on the Flying Trapeze” Mother-in-law

Heeeere’s Johnny!

Jack Nicholson

(1937 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jack Torrance in “The Shining”

If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick (his son) would have never been conceived.