Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 77)

South Dakota Gov. Mike Rounds on Monday signed legislation banning almost all abortions in the state; as a result, South Dakota is changing its motto from ‘Under God, the People Rule’ to ‘You should have thought of that before prom.’

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

Truth hurts… maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing… but it hurts.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Truth TV/Movie Quotes

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

[After a fight] Yeah, I’m fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy’s fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Fights TV/Movie Quotes

Phoebe : Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey : I’d probably kill myself… hey, if little Joey’s dead, big Joey ain’t got not reason to live.

(1967 – ) American actor & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

When Martha Stewart reported to prison yesterday, she was subjected to an invasive strip search that included a squat and cough, during which she laid two perfect blue speckled eggs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

You’re a bartender, y’aint a mortrician.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

(1962 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. [He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Bart: A man drink like that and he don’t eat, he is going to die.

Jim: [eagerly] When?

(1933 – ) American comic actor, director, screenwriter & author
TV/Movie Quotes

The only things we Crane boys are skilled at catching are sarcastic nuances and the occasional virus.

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m going to the Colonel next. I’m gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Richard Finch: Why do you wanna work on television?
Bridget: I’ve got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.
Richard Finch: Fair enough. Start on Monday.

(1969 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

If I wanted you to know what I’m thinking, I’d be talking.

(1946 – ) American actor
Communication Speech TV/Movie Quotes

It is harder for the spider to catch a fly than it is for the fly to catch a horse.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.

(1943 – ) English comedian, writer, television host & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

[of her husband Frank] He hates it when I cry. It reminds him of our wedding night.

(1925) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes