Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
TV/Movie Quotes
(Page 78)
You’re breakin’ about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
One of these days I’m gonna dehead myself.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Lady Godiva put everything she had on a horse.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes
As Augustus Winterbottom in “Tillie and Gus”
Betting
Lady Godiva
Bonnie: That’s really wonderful. You got him [a calf] to drink from the bottle.
Mitch: Yeah, thank God, ‘cause my nipples were killing me.
Billy Crystal
(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
TV/Movie Quotes
As Mitch Robbins in “City Slickers”
I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot.
Foghorn Leghorn
cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
Lilith: Well, I’m off. I don’t know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Carla: Like a body temperature?
Rhea Perlman
(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Carla Tortelli in “Cheers”
Nice boy… but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth
Foghorn Leghorn
cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
TV/Movie Quotes
Nerve
To show that his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska. This week President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turned soy beans into a clean burning diesel fuel; which the president hopes one day will be used to fuel oil drilling machines in Alaska.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
George W. Bush
You’re germinatin’ all over me!
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
I go for two kinds of men… the kind with muscles, and the kind without.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes
As Tira in “I’m No Angel”
Muscles
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Family
TV/Movie Quotes
Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.
Redd Foxx
(1922 – 1991) American comedian
TV/Movie Quotes
As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”
Well, I think we should get some bricks and some baseball bats and go over there and teach them the true meaning of Christmas.
Alice Ghostley
(1924 – 2007) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Bernice in “Designing Women”
Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?
Ed O’Neill
(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage
Sex
TV/Movie Quotes
As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”
Many a man's lost his best friend by marrying her.
Buddy Ebsen
(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Marriage
TV/Movie Quotes
As Jed Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies”
Takes a hard man to eat boiled owl.
Henry Fonda
(1905 – 1982) American film & stage actor
People
TV/Movie Quotes
As Howdy in "The Rounders"
Vivian: You’re late.
Edward Lewis: You’re stunning.
Vivian: You’re forgiven.
Julia Roberts
(1967 – ) American actress & producer
TV/Movie Quotes
As Vivian Ward in “Pretty Woman”
You know what they say,
misery is the best company.
Jean Stapleton
(1923 – 2013) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Edith Bunker in “All In the Family”
Misery loves company
Spanish PR’s from the
Caraboon.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Carribean
Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!
Danny DeVito
(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Appearance
Fat
TV/Movie Quotes
As Louie De Palma in “Taxi”
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