TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 78)

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, you figure it out.

Megan Mullally

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

What was I thinking when I said “I do”? I’d already had sex with her; I didn’t need that again.

Ed O’Neill

(1946 – ) American actor

Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Al Bundy in “Married With Children”

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.
Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

Rhea Perlman

(1948 – ) American actress

Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes As Carla Tortelli in “Cheers” Liver

You’re a bartender, y’aint a mortrician.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Mortician

This stuff tastes awful. I could make a fortune selling it in my health food store.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Miles Monroe in “Sleeper”

Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

TV/Movie Quotes As Professor Wagstaff in “Horse Feathers” Ice

Janice: [Janice walks downstairs and finds Monica and Chandler looking at her house] What a small world!
Chandler: … And yet, I never run into Beyonce.

Matthew Perry

(1969 – ) Canadian-American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Chandler in “Friends”

Cliff: If I wasn’t wearing this uniform, I’d ask you to step outside.
Norm: If you weren’t wearing that uniform, we’d all step outside.

Norm

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”

Joe Grant: “You bastard!”
’Rico’ Fardan: Yes sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you sir are a self-made man.

Lee Marvin

(1924 – 1987) American actor

Insults TV/Movie Quotes As ‘Rico’ Fardan In “The Professionals”

You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

TV/Movie Quotes As S. Quentin Quale in “Go West”

Mum claims he was dropped as a child – I think he was thrown.

Jane Leeves

(1961 – ) English actress, model, producer, comedian, singer & dancer

TV/Movie Quotes As Daphne Moon in “Frasier

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes From “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break”

Mother, the only thing you ever taught me about the Sabbath is that Bergdorf’s wouldn’t be as crowded.

Mimi Rogers

(1956 – ) American actress & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Claire in “The Mirror Has Two Faces”

Gregory: Rose, I love you and I… I want to be married to you.
Rose: Gregory, You are married to me.
Gregory: Uh… that’s right!

Barbra Streisand

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director

Marriage TV/Movie Quotes As Rose Morgan in “The Mirror Has Two Faces”

This place looks like the inside of a goat’s stomach.

Peter Falk

Peter Falk (1927 – 2011) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Joy Boy in “Pocket Full of Miracles”

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we’re gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

You are so dashing, you could have any woman you wanted: dead or alive.

Raul Julia

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family”

Arthur: Hobson, do you know the worst part, the worst part of being me?
Hobson: I should imagine your breath.

John Gielgud

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer

TV/Movie Quotes As Hobson in “Arthur” Breath

And I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, mettle, and G-U-T-S, ‘guts’. Why, Ted Striker’s got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine, including the colon!

Lloyd Bridges

TV/Movie Quotes As Steve McCroskey in “Airplane II: The Sequel” Guts

It’s time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air!